September 4 Will Never be the Same

Ray,

I’m sitting here with mixed emotions. I’ve been dreading this day. A year ago…our lives changed, we couldn’t believe the news, we were hoping it wasn’t true. Our knees buckled, tears filled all of our eyes, and we all rushed to the hospital. We were all in disbelief. It was our last chance. Our last chance to feel your warm hand in ours, our last chance to see you, our last chance to hug you. It was surreal.

It’s so hard for me to type this. I didn’t think it would be, I thought that being so emotional for these past few weeks would make today a little easier. But it hasn’t. You’d think that time would help heal. But it hasn’t, it still hurts so much. Sometimes so unbearable because my heart hurts more than I could imagine. But today, I’m trying not to hurt because I know you wouldn’t want us to do that. I know you’d want us to smile.

So today, my love, instead of writing those emo posts like I usually do when I write to you (like the ones I wrote here, here, here, here, here, and here) I’m going to share 10 memories that we have that puts a smile on my face.

  1. After you passed, I got tons of emails and messages from people. People that I knew, but you didn’t know or maybe met briefly once before. I got at least a dozen messages from people telling me how they didn’t know you but they were inspired by you, your story, and they just had to tell me that they could tell you were an amazing individual.
  2. When we’d visit you at Topanga Mall when you’re working and you’d give us the $1 burrito coupons.
  3. You scaring Ceejay at the Geyser house.
  4. Biking in Hermosa.
  5. Going to Vegas with your fake ID.
  6. Having lunch at Stacked.
  7. Calling you to tell you we were engaged.
  8. Your Traklife Radio meeting.
  9. You recording the Traklife theme song in my office.
  10. Vegas with the Assemble fam

There’s so many more that just run through my head whenever I think of you. I was dreading my Facebook and Instagram feed today. I didn’t want to cry seeing everyone’s pictures of you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

0 Comments